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哈佛耶鲁名校申请范文

哈佛耶鲁名校申请范文
哈佛耶鲁名校申请范文

Childhood memory

A familiar sensation of frustration and hurt gripped me.Looking for defense I only saw a cinderblock at my feet,impossible for my eight year old body to heave,so,I

screamed in English:

"you are just jealous that you are poor and I am American!"

As the words flew out of my mouth,I knew I was wrong-there was no sense of triumphant satisfaction.I abruptly turned and ran into the refuge of my aunt's home.

Upon finishing a tearful narrative to my aunt and father,I preferred the comfort of the former's arms.I avoided my father's disappointment:I knew as well as he did,that I was not the victim.

Later,myhyateria subdued and guilt temporarily forgotten,Iventyred outside to explore the crevices of[redacted].The boy were still playing atop the rubbish,then seeing me,scrambled off their mountain and ran in the opposite direction.It'sokay.Ithought,I wouldn't be a fan of me either.

As I began walking up the street,I heard shouts:"Wait,wait!" The boys caught up to me and proudly waved[redacted]bills in my face.In their brokedEnglish,they said in earnest and without malice,"Look! We are not poor! We have money! We are Amreekan too!"

I agreed they were right and smiled sadly:one US dollar was the equivalent to[redacted].I was made sharply aware of what separated me from these children: ocean,experience,money.Politics,ignorance,the apathy of millions.Ironically,it was also the first time I belonged to my"motherland".I could share in the simple joy of relishing what"is",be proud of the sense of resourcefulness engendered by scarcity.

This memory has woven itself into my philosophy and my dreams.The very personal knowledge that millions live in a way such that electric toothbrushes are an unfathormable luxury(my cousin),has given me the following personal reles:

[redacted]

While I may not be certain of my future.I know for certain that I want to serve.I realize that service is as important an aspect of education as is academic work.

我愿意为这些男孩工作,为所有骄傲的马达加斯加人(甚至是那些不以自己是马达加斯加人而自豪的人),珍惜那些孩子,Andrian说道。

这篇范文的作者是来自于Grosse Pointe,Michigan的Natalie M。文章的主题为:为什么要说对不起("Don't Be Sorry"), 主要阐述的是作者对妈妈残疾的看法。在文章的最后,点评老师Sherryl Fletcher还给出了自己的评价。

"Don't Be Sorry"

It was a raw, blustery March day and I was leading four classmates to my house to hash out the remaining details of our current English presentation. When I opened the door, however, I received a surprise. I had not

anticipated my mother still being home and neither had my group members. Their faces turned slightly blank, as if they were trying to hide their confusion and surprise. The previously relaxed atmosphere had become very formal and quiet. I had seen this before.

My group members had only observed my mom for a few seconds, but it was long enough to ignite their curiosity. I casually explained that the woman in the wheelchair they had just seen was my mother and that she has M.S.-multiple sclerosis. This is a fact I have relayed dozens of times throughout my life, and I thought nothing of it as I took my group member's heavy winter jackets and hung them up.

But one of the girls immediately said, "Oh, I'm sorry."

I was actually speechless. Sorry? Sorry for what? No one has ever said those words to me before regarding my mother, and I did not know how to respond. You say "I'm sorry" when someone's uncle passes away or when their pet dies; only "bad" situations are deserving of the "I'm sorry" response and I have never viewed my mother's disease as needing to receive it.

I shrugged off the reply in a polite way, and we got working. But the moment my group members left I was alone with my thoughts, alone with the "I'm sorry" clause.

Our family's life is completely different than others due to my mom's disease, but I have known no other way of living. My mother has had M.S. since she was in college, so I was born into a world with motorized scooters and walkers and extra precautions. This is my norm. And while other people may pity my mother and our family, I see no reason to be down. I could spend all my time harping on the drawbacks and my "missed opportunities," but what fun would that be? I will always find the silver lining.

This seemingly insignificant March day actually made quite a difference for me. I finally realizedthat you need to appreciate not just what you have had, but what you have not. Because of my mother I had learned independence and responsibility while most kids were still watching Saturday morning cartoons. I could balance a checkbook by fifth grade, thought more consciously about keeping our house clean than most kids ever will, and was always willing to lend a hand. These lessons have stuck with me. I understand that you have to make the best out of what you are given; take what life gives you and run with it.

So why be sorry for me? I know I would not trade my life for the world.

Admissions Reader Comments 评论

Natalie's voice in this essay is real and deeply thoughtful. Her life with her mom is just that, her life with her mom. She underscores her appreciation for what she has had as well as what she has not had and relates to this as a "silver lining" opportunity. A chance to learn independence, responsibility, sensitivity, and compassion is all balanced with making the best of what life provides you with. One of my favorite sentences is, "Take what life gives you and run with it." This entire essay provides me with a clear view of Natalie's personal qualities, her balance in life, her ability to adapt and live positively and her full appreciation for enjoying the bright side and accepting what one cannot change. This essay was a window into the unique life experiences and personal values that Natalie will add to our freshman class.

-Sherryl Fletcher, Senior Associate Director of Admissions

What else would I like you to know?

I am who I am today mostly because of my brother [name]. [name] was born when I was four years old, and he had an extremely rare birth defect called Robert's Syndrome. At the time, he was one of a handful in the world to have it. He was born without arms, couldn't walk or talk, and had many other severe physical and mental defects. It was a complete shock to my parents. He was only expected to live for a day or two, but after a few weeks in the hospital he was healthy enough to come home with us. I was too young to really understand what was going on; I was just excited to have a brother.

[name] was a full-time job for us. For his entire life he was incapable of doing anything for himself. My parents and I didn't have much, but we did have an amazing family and group of friends to support us. We couldn't have taken care of [name] without all of them, and seeing this level of sacrifice from so many people had a huge impact on me. No one ever complained. No one ever hesitated. We just did what we had to, and I saw first-hand at a young age how important it is to work together and help those around you. And our family (extended included), became so much closer because of how we came together for [name], and that closeness still holds today.

[name] ended up living for about four years, and I'm so grateful for the lessons I learned from him. My generosity, kindness, team work, and independence, come directly from him being in my life. And learning to deal with that level of stress and responsibility made me a much, much stronger person than I would have been without.

So my family and I have carried [name]'s memory with us since he passed in the form of giving to others. About ten years ago, we started a charity called [institution], whose purpose is to supply beds and bedding to children in our area who are without. The thought was that [name] spent most of his life in bed, and if we hadn't had a decent one for him his life would have been so uncomfortable. As of this year, we have supplied almost [number] kids with mattresses, blankets, and stuffed animals, and each year we are able to help more and more children. This mentality of service has been a big part of my life since we started [institution], and as I got older I wanted to start branching out to new service opportunities. And let me tell you, [city] has been a great place to start. This city has made a serious impression on me. Anyone who's from here either loves it or hates it, but either way, [city] is the kind of place that defines a person. [city] is the underdog, full of unrealized potential. Living in a place like this has opened my eyes to the heartache of missed opportunities (not even mentioning our sports teams…), and it's because of this that I've become so involved in the community. I've been able to work with so many very smart, driven people, and together we've done a lot to make a positive impact. My work with the [institution] has allowed me to help raise over [number] for small, local NFPs, and my work with the [institution] has complemented that with a more hands-on, service based focus. And being a Big Brother through [institution] has allowed me to make a lasting, consistent impact in a more focused way.

All of these, together with working for a commercial bank, have given me a very satisfying life balance. I'm able to do so many things, and able to make a tangible impact in each of them. But sometimes I do so much that I

don't take the time to stop and look around – to process what's happening. This was missing in my life. I know that the path I'd been taking was the right one for me, I'd just never truly felt ready to move on to the next phase.

This changed this past summer when I did my first [event]. If you're not familiar with this, it's a [number] mile swim followed by a [number] mile bike and then a [number] mile run. Still seems nuts to me. I'd never done a triathlon of any kind before I signed up for this, but was so overwhelmed by watching my friend compete in the same one the year before. I'll never forget the moment: I was watching a quadriplegic go up the final –and largest – hill in his wheelchair, sweating, grunting, and crying. And finishing. I'm pretty sure everyone watching that was crying; it was one of the most moving things I'd ever seen. So I signed up.

Training for this requires a serious amount of time, most of which you're alone with your thoughts (no music allowed during the race, so you train without). Eight hours biking, five running, and two swimming, each week for seven months, is so mentally taxing, and your mind goes to some new places. I started reflecting a lot, and really began to understand the choices I've made and the impact they've had. I thought a lot about where I was in life, why I was there, and what I would have done differently along the way. I thought about what I wanted for my future, not just career-wise, but in order to be happy. And it's not so much that my views changed from this experience, but I feel like I've gained a new level of clarity. I'm much more confident in my life goals, and can pursue them with pride and conviction.

I'm now ready to move on to the next phase of my life, and am very excited to do so.

Prompt 1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Managing to break free from my mother’s grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two- year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother’s eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon-sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial-sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco.

Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar-fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose

enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I’ve developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight-loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well-mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity.

While enjoying an obligatory hot dog, I did not find myself thinking about the ‘all beef’goodness that Costco boasted. I instead considered finitudes and infinitudes, unimagined uses for tubs of sour cream, the projectile motion of said tub when launched from an eighty foot shelf or maybe when pushed from a speedy cart by a scrawny seventeen year old. I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty-three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will? I experienced a harsh physics lesson while observing a shopper who had no evident familiarity of inertia's workings. With a cart filled to overflowing, she made her way towards the sloped exit, continuing to push and push while steadily losing control until the cart escaped her and went crashing into a concrete column, 52” pl asma screen TV and all. Purchasing the yuletide hickory smoked ham inevitably led to a conversation between my father and me about Andrew Jackson’s controversiality. There was no questioning Old Hickory’s dedication; he was steadfast in his beliefs and pur suits – qualities I am compelled to admire, yet his morals were crooked. We both found the ham to be more likeable–and tender.

I adopted my exploratory skills, fine tuned by Costco, towards my intellectual endeavors. Just as I sampled buffalo-chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart–one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious. I sampled calculus, cross-country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world. Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest.

My intense desire to know, to explore beyond the bounds of rational thought; this is what defines me. Costco fuels my insatiability and cultivates curiosity within me at a cellular level. Encoded to immerse myself in the unknown, I find it difficult to c omplacently accept the “what”; I want to hunt for the “whys” and dissect the “hows”. In essence, I subsist on discovery.

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