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愚人节英文笑话短信

愚人节英文笑话短信
愚人节英文笑话短信

愚人节英文笑话短信

joke 1

wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): i wish i w ere a newspaper so i’ll be in your hands all day.

husband: i wish that too, so i could change you daily

joke 2

a little boy asked his father: daddy, how much does it cost to get ma rried?

the father replied: i don ’t know son. i ’m still paying!!

joke 3

at midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... he asks h im: what are you doing?

the son replied: dad i am fed up with my life! my newly marriage is n ot going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! i ha ve to pay bills for my in-

laws, and i hate this life!!! i want to go far from here, i want to t aste every joy of life, and i want to have every fun of life!!!

father said: wait!!!!!!!! i am coming with you

joke 4

a woman goes to england to attend a 2-

week company training session. her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

the wife answered: thank you honey, what would you like me to bring f or you?

the husband laughed and said: an english girl!!!

the woman kept quiet and left. two weeks later he picked her up in th e airport and asked: so honey, how was the trip?

the wife: very good, thank you.

the husband: and, what happened to my present?

the wife: which present?

the husband: what i asked for: the english girl?

the wife: oh, that! well, i did what i could; now we have to wait a f ew months to see if it’s a girl!!!

joke 5

a couple goes to an art gallery. they find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. the wife doesn ’t like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking. the wife asks, "what are you waiting for? " the husband replies, "autumn. "

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愚人节英文笑话短信

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有个男人上街买了一担米,一头重,一头轻,不好挑。他抓抓头皮想岀了一个办法,在轻的一边放上一块大石头。他汗流泱背地把米挑到家,放下担子,长长嘘了一口气道:“今天幸亏有这块石头,不然简直没办法挑回来!” 愚人节笑话?前面也有雨 有个男人在雨里慢慢行走。路上有人见了觉得奇怪,问他 道: “雨下得这么大,你怎么不快点走?” 他从从容容地答道:“快点儿走有啥用?前面也有雨 嘛!” 愚人节笑话?“不识数”的播音员 电视里放映精彩激烈的乒乓球赛,引起了老奶奶的极大兴趣。 看完后她啧啧称赞:“球打得好,球打得好!可惜偏偏找 了个不识数的播音员! 小孙孙听了不解地问:“人家咋不识数? 老奶奶说:“明明是两个人在打球,他偏说是单打。明明是四个人在打球,他却硬说是双打。他少数了一半,这不是不识数是啥?” 愚人节笑话?家里人知道

经典英文笑话集锦(双语对照)

经典英文笑话集锦(双语对照) A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟." Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"! 四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!" 呵呵,一个比一个效率高. Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!! 拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙

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